


Ministry Love Notes

by skoosiepants



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-14
Updated: 2005-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 21:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/496060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skoosiepants/pseuds/skoosiepants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronnikins, love, dearest heart, pookems. I've no idea what you're talking about. Dancing? Were there sparkly boys involved? If there was, I shall be deeply hurt that I wasn't invited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ministry Love Notes

**There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**   
  
Seamus, you complete fucker. You’ll pay for the damn singing and dancing, I swear. Watch your back.  
  
Kingsley nearly laughed me out of the department.   
  
Ron  
  
***  
  
 **Most Notably From Seamus**  
  
Finally! A use for these bloody notes Hermione gave me. Ronnikins, love, dearest heart, pookems. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. Dancing? Were there sparkly boys involved? If there was, I shall be deeply hurt that I wasn’t invited.   
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**   
  
Hermione. Hit Seamus. Please. Just for me?  
  
***  
  
 **Hermione J. Granger**  
Second Level Research  
Spell Reform and Development  
  
Ron,  
  
Lovely to hear from you. Yes, I’m having a wonderful Valentine’s Day, thank you for asking. Harry sent me chocolates. He’s so incredibly considerate, isn’t he? I’ve had an owl from your sister, too, and three rhymes from Seamus on pink and red animated hearts.  
  
As to your request, no. No, I don’t think so. I rather like Seamus. He’s been a helpful addition to our team, and. Yes. He leaves me pink and red hearts. Oh! And a book of sonnets. He can be rather thoughtful when he puts his mind to it. Makes up for all the cursing, I think.  
  
I hope you enjoyed the cookies I had delivered to your desk this morning.  
  
Love,  
Hermione  
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**  
  
Bugger. Harry, please tell me I didn’t space on Valentine’s. Knew those cookies were a trap.  
  
By the way, the hell? You sent her chocolates, and didn’t bother to remind me, your bestest mate in the whole entire world, about it? Or at least sign my name to the card. I thought you loved me.  
  
Ron  
  
***  
  
 ~~Incident report #: 5340  
Filed by: Auror Harry Potter  
Date of incident: February 11, 2005  
Parties involved: Auror Harry Potter, Prize Git Draco Malfoy, That Mean Bloke Nott  
Account: 2:00 pm, I was unfairly attacked from behind, and while trying to subdue the bastard~~  
  
Ron. Do you honestly think I didn’t? Sign your name, that is. She’s got your number, mate. Not my fault.   
  
How do y’say a bloke scratched your face without sounding like a total pansy?  
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**   
  
Pink and red hearts, Seamus? Do you want me dead? Is that what this is about?  
  
And what do you mean you don’t know about the dancing? And the singing? And the -albeit rather sexy – lap dance in front of my DEPARTMENT HEAD?! Are you insane? I mean, they’re fine with my sexuality. Great even. Parties and all, and gifts for little Silvie. But.   
  
You are a dead man.   
  
***  
  
 **Most Notably From Seamus**  
  
Red,  
  
How do I love thee?  
Let me count your spots.  
Preferably naked.  
  
Also, have you seen Nott lately? Yum.  
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**  
  
I appreciate the hearts, Seamus, really I do. But I wasn’t fishing, you know. And now Phyllis in Charmed Objects thinks you’re in love with me. Hurrah.  
  
I’m going to kill myself.  
  
***  
  
 **I Don’t Do Mondays…**  
  
Do not mock my stationary. If you do, Weasel, I will be forced to repeat this morning’s performance. Did you enjoy my present?  
  
DM  
  
***  
  
 **Hermione J. Granger**  
Second Level Research  
Spell Reform and Development  
  
Ronald,  
  
I do realize that the chocolates were from you, as well. Thank you. You didn’t need to send the four foot walking teddy. Luckily, we were able to immobilize it before it could eat Colin.  
  
Love,  
Hermione  
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**  
  
A friendly reminder, ferret? I should have known, but then last year you simply locked me out of the flat, with explicit directions on how much you didn’t love me if I failed to give you something shiny. Considering you growl at Seamus every time he comes near me, Lap dances aren’t exactly your style, are they?  
  
Love,  
R.  
  
***  
  
 **I Don’t Do Mondays…**  
  
Nott gave you a bloody lap dance? I don’t believe he’ll survive much past this afternoon. Feel free to send your condolences to Finnigan, who I know has a pervy infatuation with the soon to be living-impaired pillock.  
  
Can you pick up Silvia from your mum’s? I think I’ll have to stay late to clean up Pucey’s mess, and I promised you’d take the two of us to dinner. Fancy. Dress up. Your grey trousers, not your brown. They match my eyes.   
  
Love,  
D.  
  
***  
  
 **There’s Beastly Things Afoot…**   
  
Give it up, Harry. Draco didn’t mean it. Or, you know, he did. But it’s not worth me being in the middle about, and I’d dearly love to get laid this evening.  
  
Ron  
  
***  
  
 **Most Notably From Seamus**  
  
Hearts, stars, purple horseshoes… merely spreading the love.   
  
Word is that Nott got in your trousers this morning and Malfoy’s out for blood. I’m off to find his pieces! With luck he’ll be trussed up naked in his office. I envy you Malfoy’s sadistic streak.  
  
Tra la! Happy snogs’ and shags’ day!


End file.
